Achtung: The following is a highly inflammatory post - initial testing with our focus group revealed that the following post may be construed as offensive by certain segments of our target demographic - specifically if your name is "Mary", or if your last name is some variation on the theme of "Nocarb".

Reasonable attempts have been made, of course, to protect the identities of those involved in these incidents.



Yet another quack spotted at TTSH

Given the famous insularity of the medical profession ("Thou shalt not testify against another physician") it is unavoidable that some quacks do slip through the cracks in the system.

Today we had a Cardiology "Clinical Fellow" who brought us to an aortic stenosis case, before asking us what abnormalities we expected to hear.

Me: Loud P2 and soft A2 - stenosed valves barely even flap let alone make a loud....
MN: Nope nada wrong zilch TEEEEEHHH you expect a louder A2 in AS.

And the GCO of course being the histrionic overreacting fuck that he is, immediately started spewing forth at the mouth and hyperventilating. But of course YOU DO NOT CONTRADICT A PROFESSOR so the incident would've passed without further comment if not for the following heresy:

MN: OMG WTF NOOBS you mean you haven't heard of head-bobbing in AS? Thats like, de Musset's sign - head bobbing in time with the pulse you PAWNED NOOBS.
Me: Isn't that usually seen together with the dancing carotids - Corrigan's sign? Thats aortic regurgitation right?
Some Cardio dude: Eh Mary yeah it's usually seen in AR.

I mean, HOW THE FUCK do you screw up a cardiology bread-and-butter case like aortic stenosis? Especially now that you are teaching us young impressionable fucks, propogating heresies after heresies down the chain of generations, like some screwed up Mendelian allele?


Introducing StethoAid!

One good thing did come out of today's Cardio tutorial after all - Some Cardio Dude was wearing a digital watch clipped on to his stethoscope, which I initially mistook for a stethoscope amplifier, before realizing what a fucking ingenious brainwave I had just come up with.

Imagine a portable steth mike-amplifer circuit clipped onto the fork of the steth - low pass and high pass band filters segregate the low-pitched murmurs and the high-pitched heart sounds, and projecting it directly unto left and right earpieces respectively - VOILA instant diagnosis of all hard-to-hear murmurs with easy-timing capability! Separate operation modes for lung & bowel sounds obviously apply. Heck I'll even throw in a Memcard slot so you can use your steth as a high end MP3 player that simultaneously announces your high-earning and highly desirable status as a medical professional!

Suck that, Steve Jobs.